Decaying Silence: Bathing in Death

Acrylic on laminated, charcoal and graphite, mixed media paper.

36 by 80 inches

“Decaying Silence: Bathing in Death” is a visceral mental health relic—a warning, an educative moment, and a direct flashback to the years when depression was an anchor, a daily fight, and a noose around my neck. The work seeks to externalize the internal topography of a mind struggling under the weight of mental illness.

The piece centers on a persona who, as a neurodivergent individual, performs the exhausting ritual of masking to fit in and remains invisible in the outside world. Only at the end of a long day, in the isolating silence of their dark house, do they allow themselves the vulnerability of unmasking as they remove their clothes and step into the bath. This moment of temporary cessation is the project’s core theme: the Swamp of depression.

As the persona lays bare, their anxieties, wounds, trauma, and PTSD come rushing back, forming a tidal wave of negative energy. This emotional flood is rendered as a composition of mold and rot in various textures, colors, and abstract forms, creeping around and consuming the scene. The visual decay—rotten oranges, decaying flowers, encroaching slime—is a direct manifestation of the mind's internal rot, the endless loop of self-hatred, and the memories of judging eyes that necessitate the daily mask. The darkness eventually consumes the figure, causing them to visually melt, dissolve, and combine with the toxic environment. Yet, in the midst of the decay, a beautiful flower emerges, demonstrating a possibility, a way out, a chance to confront the swamp of demons, not merely succumb to them.